EXTRA -- Special guest post from the author's dad!

Verlyn takes a sailing class and finds New York harbor more confusing than it appears on his map. (If he takes a few more classes, he will learn to call it his “chart.”) He devotes four paragraphs to listing passing watercraft and visible landmarks, and is careful to use the currently fashionable word “pivot.” He then wonders what it must have been like in the old days, when there were even more vessels in the harbor, probably.

Tuesday, 5/20/08: "Sailing the Waters of New York Harbor"

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/20/opinion/20tue4.html?_r=1&ref=opinion&oref=slogin

Verlyn Klinkenborg took a sailing class!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Thursday, 5/15/08: "Saying Goodbye to Justine Henin"

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/15/opinion/15thu4.html?_r=1&ref=opinion&oref=slogin

One time, Verlyn Klinkenborg watched a tennis star practice. She looked taller than he expected. He likes her because she is emotional, and he entertains kinky fantasies about "the pleasure of watching her grow into herself" and "the beauty of her extraordinary backhand."

Other Klinkenborg-related news items:

• Has anyone else been following the schizophrenic schedule of his column lately? Two weeks went by without a single column; then in the past two weeks alone it's appeared on Saturday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Does he just write them whenever he feels like it?
• "Saying Goodbye to Justine Henin" would be a good title for a Judy Blume novel, or a Judd Apatow comedy.
  

Wednesday, 5/7/08: "The Cost of Smarts"

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/07/opinion/07wed4.html

Verlyn Klinkenborg thinks intelligence might be overrated, and is unnerved by chickens.

Saturday, 5/3/08: "A Swallow in the Hand"

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/03/opinion/03sat4.html?_r=1&ref=opinion&oref=slogin

There are frogs in Verlyn Klinkenborg's local swamp. Also, he keeps dead birds in his freezer.